Do you ever turn the music up so you don't have to listen to the thoughts in your own head. I really do love music. It brings back so many memories. Different songs will stick in my head to remind me of the 'good' and the 'bad' times. Every time I hear Nothing Else Matters By Metallica I think of when I was a teenager and how I used to sleep with my windows open and fall asleep at night to the sound of my neighbor's son playing his guitar.....Still to this day... I don't think he ever knew I was listening...Thank-you Jeremy for putting me to sleep every night! The song Wind Beneath my Wings by Bette Milder reminds me of when I was in the Fourth grade and I looked up and saw my Mom in the door of my classroom, with a look I had never scene before. There had been an explosion on the ship my Dad was on, the USS Iowa, and at the time, all she knew was that there had been a really bad accident.... My dad was OK, but he really went through a rough time with all that surrounded that time frame in our life. That song was dedicated to the battleship when it came home! And every time I hear the song now I think of him. BTW...I miss my Dad...he's close, we just don't talk these days. Family drama......but I do miss him, Or at least the person I used to know.
...wouldn't it be nice if they played Lynyrd Skynard... some Free Bird or Simple Man; or even some Bob Marley!! in Pre Op... Something that would relax someone and put them in another dimension.....LMAO~ Did I ever tell you that when my kids were born, I was sitting on a beach somewhere drinking a fruity big girl drink....in my mind, lol....Mind over matter!!!
So......My new meds are really slowing me down, which means they're working, I just don't like feeling like a sloth all day. Other than going to the post office, I haven't done a darn thing today!
I did watch a really good Movie earlier today called New in Town. Really funny movie! Had me crying I was laughing so hard. And the moral of the story was really what I needed right now. It's about never giving up, and just when you think things are over, sometimes you have to try something different......What's the worst that could happen! LOL...I know it sounds awful if you follow what I'm talking about......but for real for real, I feel like I've already hit rock bottom, and that it's all up hill from here. I hope. I just have to take a chance.
Oh, and a bit of humor......When I was at the Post Office earlier, I had a young gentlemen come up to me and give me his business card. He said he was a personal trainer, and then said "Not that you need it".....and I had to laugh! I have been trying for a few years now to get my ass back, thank-you! 2 years ago, my cheeks looked hollow and I was in a size 4...I've never been in a four! I was at least a 12 in high school.....But I have worked hard at eating and I'm back into a size 9!! And for someone who's really not crazy about food, this has been hard. There's such a long list of the foods that I am suppose to avoid, that it takes all the fun out of eating. It more or less is a chore. At one point, I couldn't even digest food, and was reduced to drinking Ensures. LOL, Yuck, That stuff tasted like chocolate chalk! But I drank it!! My point is, I appreciate this strangers suggestion.......but I think I got it from here. Don't worry, If I decide to go through the surgeries, I will lose it all again, but for now I really need that butt to be there to lie on the OR table!
Ok...its time for an Update:
*Breast cyst is starting to shrink....Wasn't too wet when I woke up this morning.
*And other than being really groggy and sloth like, I've a decent, unproductive day of sitting on the couch! LOL
Pretty good day if you ask me:)
Until Next time:)
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