Friday, August 28, 2009

Number 18

Well....if all goes as planned.....Tuesday I will be having surgery to remove this 'mass' in my breast. I spoke with the surgeon yesterday, and told her I want it gone! I'm done messing with it!! It's just one more thing that drives me batty! However, It does suck that I'll be losing another chunk out of my boob! Not really trying to get emotional over it at the moment.....actually trying really hard to not think about it.

So......I once had a doctor tell me sometimes 'You have to pick your poison!' And at the time I really took offense to it. But now....I think I understand. Sometimes....neither option sounds good, and you have to choose the lesser of the 2 evils. I fell like I am making the right decision......Time will tell, huh!

You know.......2 weeks ago.....My Grandfather had surgery on his shoulder......This past week......My Grandmother had bowel surgery. (Both are doing good btw!!) Grandpa's been getting into lots of trouble cause he's Not suppose to be driving....and he's been the one taking Grandma to the hospital....Until the 'family' found out that is, lol. And we won't talk about a certain someone in the UK who's got me thinking about her upcoming heart surgery! .......I'm used to having surgeries....But I'm not use to every one else having them. I worry too much....but least I'm not thinking of what I have to do in a couple of days!!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Now What?!

WOW! Has this been a loooong week! And from the looks of things, next week will be the same:(

OK...I'll start at the beginning for you. April of 08, I had a lump removed from my left breast. At first they thought it was a cyst, but after removing it, I found out it was a benign tumor......and soon after the surgery, I realized, I still had the 'cyst'. So the doctor did some follow up tests, and everything looked ok......And they told me to follow up in a year. Well, a few weeks ago......After an exam done by another doctor, I was told I 'Needed to have this thing removed!' And I laughed and said, Yeah! We tried that once!'

So....Tuesday, I met with the breast surgeon again and Wednesday morning I had my ultrasound. The head tech came down to talk to me....and take a look at things.....she wants me to have another biopsy done, and hopefully this time, they can get it out. It's tricky though...and confuses the doctors....some days it's there and sometimes it isn't. Makes me wonder if there is in fact a cyst in there, under this 'dense tissue' I feel? At it's worst, I can feel a grape size lump.....and it hurts!

Then to top it all off........I had my 2nd internal ultrasound done Thursday. Last week I had the first, and it all happened so quickly, I left confused and hoping that what I had heard was wrong. I have a cyst on my left ovary that is hemorrhaging. And last week it looked really bad. I do remember the doctor telling me he didn't want to rush into anything....and told me to come back for a follow-up ultrasound. That was what I went to yesterday. And it looked a lot better!! I'm still hemorrhaging, but nothing like I was last week. I can't say the pain has gone away though, cause it hasn't.......instead it has almost plateaued. I feel a tugging in my side.....cramping through my abdomen....and I feel like I was whacked in the middle of the back with a Crockett bat. It's not crazy, I'm dying pain....but it's enough to make ya Mad! And it's not constant awful pain.....but it has it's moments and I can always feel it. Now you see this is the only female organ I have left. I had the other ovary removed a looooong time ago, then the uterus and the cervix I kinda need this ovary. I know I'm asking a lot out of it, but for real for real....Can't we all just get along here??? *sigh

So, Yea! I'm starting to get a little frustrated here. If it's not one thing it's another......and then when I think I have it all in order, something else decides to act up. That's how it is though.......that's the part that's hard to work with. I never know what to expect. Nor do I know how my body is going to handle it. LOL....Or my mind for that matter. I'm not even trying to catch up with my thoughts right now. They're going in a million different directions at the speed of a freight train. I have so many questions, and I don't want to wait for answers! I'm tired of waiting!!! I want to know what it is, how we can fix it...and then I want to be able to move on. But NO! LMAO.....I get to do it, over and over again! Um Hello! I don't need anymore t-shirts!!! Hahaha........
So with that being said, I'm done with my pity party now.
Until Next Time.